Built Between Calls—Not in a Conference Room

Septic & Salty wasn’t planned. It showed up somewhere between a dumpster fire of a shift and the second pot of burned coffee. We were tired of flimsy, generic “firefighter” gear that didn’t talk like us or last like us. So we made our own: firefighter shirts and off‑duty apparel with firehouse grit, dark humor, and zero corporate shine.

Baptized in Station Coffee

The ideas started in turnout gear and paper napkins—sarcasm scribbled between calls, designs that made the crew nod, then laugh. If it doesn’t hold up to the wash, or the watchful eyes on C‑shift, it doesn’t make it online.

“It’s not merch. It’s a uniform for off duty.”

What We Make (Besides Bad Life Choices)

We build firefighter apparel for real crews—gear that lives through long weeks, rough laughs, and a few questionable decisions. If it’s sarcastic, gritty, and borderline inappropriate, odds are you’ll find it in this lineup.

  • Firefighter Shirts

    Dark-humor graphics, salty one-liners, and prints that say what you’re already thinking. Perfect for off-duty, station downtime, or pissing off your chief.

  • Firefighter Hats

    Premium Richardson builds with leather patches that carry the firehouse attitude everywhere you go. Structured, tough, and 100% firefighter-approved.

  • Firefighter Stickers

    Decals for helmets, rigs, lockers, clipboards, and that dented fridge in the dayroom. They stick, they last, and they say what you probably shouldn’t in a staff meeting.

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If it’s sarcastic, gritty, and borderline inappropriate, odds are you’ll find it in this lineup.

Who We’re For (Besides the Questionably Sane)

The ones who run toward chaos and laugh about it later. The medics who turn gallows humor into oxygen. The officers who know morale matters. If you speak the language of the bay floor, this brand was built for you. Not everyone will get it. That’s the point.

  • The Gloriously Unhinged

    The ones who can turn a dumpster fire call into a running joke before they’re back in quarters. Our firefighter shirts are built for you.

  • The Emotionally Exhausted

    Coffee IVs, zero sleep, and a mental health plan that looks suspiciously like bench pressing in silence. Our firefighter hats fit right in.

  • The Beautifully Broken

    You’ve seen too much, said too much, and still found a way to laugh through it. Our firefighter lifestyle stickers were basically designed with you in mind.

  • The Ones Who Still Show Up

    Burned out, over it, and somehow still answering the call. You don’t wear fire dept clothing because it’s cute—you wear it because it feels like your crew.

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This brand isn’t for everyone. It’s for the firefighters, medics, and misfits who know dark humor isn’t a phase—it’s survival.

The Salty Truth

So yeah—grab a shirt, slap a sticker on your rig, throw on a hat that screams “yes, I’m the problem.” This isn’t just firefighter apparel; it’s the off-duty uniform of every misfit who knows dark humor beats crying in the supply closet.

We’re not polished. We’re not motivational. We’re Septic & Salty. And if that feels like a bad idea… good. That means you get it.

Septic & Salty creates firefighter apparel and firehouse clothing designed by Fire/EMS for Fire/EMS. From firefighter shirts with dark humor to custom department apparel that carries station pride, our gear is built for real crews who live the job off duty. This is the off‑duty uniform—durable, comfortable, and unapologetically firehouse.