Frequently Asked Dumb Questions
Welcome to the Septic & Salty FAQ—the place where we answer the things we never thought anyone would actually ask. If you’re looking for firefighter shirts, hats, or stickers, the short answer is: yes, we sell them. If you’re here for life advice, you’ve taken a wrong turn. Read on, get your answers, and try not to email us asking the same thing.
Section 1: Product Questions
Gear Questions (Because Apparently It’s Not Obvious)
Q: Are your firefighter shirts true to size?
Yep. Standard fit, athletic-friendly. If you’re between sizes, size up unless you like bunker-gear tight.
Q: What about the firefighter hats?
Premium Richardson builds—structured, tough, and designed to survive more shifts than you.
Q: Do the firefighter stickers actually stick?
Crazy concept, but yes. Helmets, rigs, lockers, laptops—basically anything except the chief’s forehead.
Section 2: Ordering & Payments
Ordering Stuff (Congrats on Being Decisive)
Q: How do I order?
Add to cart. Pay. Wait for the mailman. That’s it.
Q: Do you do custom firefighter gear?
Not yet—sit tight. When we do, you’ll know.
Q: Can I cancel my order?
Only if you catch us before we ship it. After that, it’s your problem.
Section 3: Shipping
Shipping (Because Teleportation Isn’t Invented Yet)
Q: How fast do you ship firefighter apparel?
Stock gear usually goes out quick. Custom (when live) takes longer. Either way, we don’t drag our feet.
Q: Do you ship internationally?
Nope. U.S. only. We like to keep it close to home.
Q: How do I track my package?
We’ll email you a tracking number. Check it yourself—we’re not your babysitter.
Still Got Questions? (Yikes.)
If we didn’t cover your burning question about firefighter shirts, hats, or stickers, go ahead and hit the contact page. Just know—if you ask something we already answered here, we reserve the right to roast you in our reply.