Frequently Asked Dumb Questions
Welcome to the Septic & Salty FAQ—the place where we answer the things we never thought anyone would actually ask. If you’re looking for firefighter shirts, hats, or stickers, the short answer is: yes, we sell them. If you’re here for life advice, you’ve taken a wrong turn. Read on, get your answers, and try not to email us asking the same thing.
Section 1: Product Questions
Gear Questions (Because Apparently It’s Not Obvious)
Q: Are your firefighter shirts true to size?
Yep. Standard fit, athletic-friendly. If you’re between sizes, size up unless you like bunker-gear tight.
Q: What about the firefighter hats?
Premium Richardson builds—structured, tough, and designed to survive more shifts than you.
Q: Do the firefighter stickers actually stick?
Crazy concept, but yes. Helmets, rigs, lockers, laptops—basically anything except the chief’s forehead.
Section 2: Ordering & Payments
Ordering Stuff (Congrats on Being Decisive)
Q: How do I order?
Add to cart. Pay. Wait for the mailman. That’s it.
Q: Do you do custom firefighter gear?
Not yet—sit tight. When we do, you’ll know.
Q: Can I cancel my order?
Only if you catch us before we ship it. After that, it’s your problem.
Section 3: Shipping
Shipping (Because Teleportation Isn’t Invented Yet)
Q: How fast do you ship firefighter apparel?
Stock gear usually goes out quick. Custom (when live) takes longer. Either way, we don’t drag our feet.
Q: Do you ship internationally?
Nope. U.S. only. We like to keep it close to home.
Q: How do I track my package?
We’ll email you a tracking number. Check it yourself—we’re not your babysitter.
Still Got Questions? (Yikes.)
If we missed your burning question about firefighter shirts, firefighter hats, or firefighter stickers, hit the contact page and we’ll set you straight. Just know — if it’s something we already covered here, expect a little roast with your reply.
Got Answers? Now Get the Gear.
You’ve got the info — now it’s time to back it up with gear. Septic & Salty firefighter apparel keeps the sarcasm loud, the fit right, and the pride visible. Firefighter shirts carry the message, firefighter hats bring the attitude, and every piece is built for off duty life and firehouse culture.