These aren’t your grandma’s gym shorts — these are battle-ready bottoms built for the first-in, last-out misfits.
The Septic & Salty “Last In, First Out” Tactical Shorts are crafted from heavyweight, moisture-wicking fabric tough enough to survive every backdraft, drip-over, and coffee bath you throw their way. Featuring a gritty embroidered skull-and-helmet patch on the thigh, they carry the same sarcastic swagger as the crew that wears them.
Whether you’re dragging hoses, hoisting victims, or dodging your chief’s “motivational” speeches, these shorts keep you cool, dry, and comfortably unbothered. Warning: may induce unsolicited firehouse banter and excessive swagger.
Fit: Athletic cut with gusseted crotch for maximum range of motion
Pockets:
Two deep front pockets for gloves, tools, or contraband donuts
One Velcro-secured back pocket labeled “Not for Civilians”
Waistband: Reinforced drawcord with metal aglets (because cheap strings snap under pressure)
Patch: Tonal embroidered Maltese Skull in ghost-salt green
🚨 Why You’ll Love It:
Wicks sweat faster than you can call a Mayday
Built to outlast every prank, scuff, and dumpster fire you call a shift
Firefighter lifestyle apparel that proves you’re not here to play nice
The Last In, First Out Tactical Shorts are firefighter-approved gear with just the right amount of sarcasm stitched in. Gear up. Keep moving. Laugh harder.
