“The District Dick” – Probationary Edition Tee

Let’s be honest — he’s not your chief… but he’s definitely in charge of the group chat.

The District Dick Firefighter Shirt is a probie roast tee inspired by every Gen Z firefighter-in-training who thinks “Bet” belongs in a patient report, vapes mango ice in the turnout room, and declares leadership skills after one ride-along and three TikToks.

This firefighter humor shirt is the perfect mix of sarcasm, shift banter, and passive aggression. Whether you’re hazing the new kid, surviving another district-wide “safety meeting,” or just need a shirt that screams probationary clown, this tee has your back.

🔥 Features:

• Bold front print of the clipboard cowboy himself
• Grungy slogan: “Rides the Chief harder than a medic rides the edge of burnout”
• Pre-shrunk cotton (unlike your self-awareness)
• Unisex cut — firefighter lifestyle apparel built for burnout
• 100% cotton, 0% coping skills
• Printed with ink and passive aggression

📏 Fit & Feel:

• Soft enough for your therapy dog, durable enough for your trauma bonding
• True to size, unlike your scene report
• Sizes XS–3X with sarcastic names that roast you harder than your crew

🚨 Perfect For:

• Firehouse hazing gifts
• Celebrating your 3rd shift and 1st HR complaint
• Wearing under Class Bs while pretending to care

🧯 Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold (like your bedside manner). Hang dry while scrolling fire memes you don’t understand yet.

This isn’t just a shirt. It’s the unofficial uniform of every firehouse probie who hasn’t figured out that quiet is free.